Thursday, 24 December 2009

Love and Relationships: Destiny, the One and Kindred spirits

I know it's been awhile since I've posted an L&R post but that's because I have just not been moved to do so. After all, this is a personal blog and it reflects me and my experiences no matter how indirectly they are linked sometimes. Basically, I'm single again and working on getting myself back on track while trying to maintain and improve the relationships I've developed with my lovely friends in Boston. It's partially because of good experiences with these friends and because of the song of the week: Collide by Howie Day (see: Seeking Inspiration: Collide ), that I now feel ready to explore this topic.

Like I mentioned before, Collide is essentially about two people with different personalities, realising that it is their differences that make them so good for each other, and this led me to think about the concepts of destiny and fate. I mean they are such popular concepts used in all sorts of media to idealise love, both romantic and otherwise. From magazine articles to popular romantic comedies, people are shown as constantly looking for 'The One', i.e. the person that each person is supposed to spend their life. Sometimes they get so immersed in this search they forgot that their life is actually taking place while they search and is not on hold. They forget that even if there is a special person that they are destined to be with, and they do find this person (and I hope everyone does), you can't depend solely on this person to make you happy.

I believe that you have to take responsibility of your own happiness and this can partly be done by ensuring you also find true friends that will stick with you through the good times and the bad. I mean I am definitely yet to meet my 'One' but I'm pretty sure I've met quite a few people that represent these true friends for me. In fact, there have been times when, at first glance I meet someone, and we seem total opposites, but as I get to know the person I soon realise that we have more things in common than we don't. I like to call these people my 'kindred spirits' because if and when they become your really close friends, they tend to understand you in a way that few others can and knowing that such people exist can give you a sense of belonging and support that you will always need whether you are in a romantic relationship or not.

So I guess what I'm trying to say is that, its really good to believe that you were destined to be someone special but I'm pretty sure you will love life more if you strive to grow in your friendships and work on your hobbies while growing in your romantic relationships.

Love you all and Stay inspired,

P.S. So let me know what you think
. Do you believe in love at first sight? Destiny? Have you ever met a kindred spirit? How did you meet? Have you met the one? How did you know? Feel free to let me know in the comments below.
(Photo from: Shanissinha)


Zmaga said...

I agree with you, especially about the life on hold thing.
I don't believe in love at first sight, because I think love is an emotion that needs time. But I do believe in destiny, in circumstances coming together without my "permission" :))
I think I met my kindred spirit, he is my friend, and we really have a kind of kinship that is visible and real and it means so so much time. Thank you for this post, for making me realize how lucky I actually am.

Aury said...

Aww Im really happy for you! And I'm glad my post did that for you.

T. said...

Dear Aury,

Thank you for posting this article, I was in a bit of a tough break-up myself, and your articles on this subject are really helpful and inspiring (they make me understand what I did wrong in my previous relations with girls and were important in the recovery process) and I hope that we will both find amazing relationships in the year 2010.


Aury said...


Thank you . I hope we do too.

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