An Ordinary Girl's World: Fashion, Love, Life

The consciousness of loving and being loved brings a warmth and
richness to life that nothing else can bring.

-- Oscar Wilde (1854-1900) Irish Dramatist and Poet

When I first started doing the Dreaming of the Show posts, I said that I would not only design for characters from traditional plays like Romeo and Juliet and Hamlet, but that I would also design for characters from popular culture such as TV shows and music videos for relatively recent songs. I've always had a thing for literary analysis but after my first class in media literacy and analysis I've been hooked. For those who are unfamiliar with the field, media literacy is a field that analyzes, evaluates and creates messages in a variety of form- from print to video. I like to think of it as a way of understanding society and people by unearthing the hidden meanings in modern media, movies, music and entertainment. The understanding gained from this analysis is the first step to accurately portraying a character through the costume.

Ever since I heard the song Love the Way You Lie performed by Eminem and Rihanna, I have loved it for its depth and meaning. It has a very strong and clear message about domestic abuse and the shock effect of the song's presentation actually forces people to listen to the message. Before the real video came out I had some ideas of how I would have liked the video to be. The way in which I would have liked to portray the character of the abuser in particular was important to me and this is what I will share with you in this post.

Character: The Abuser from Love the Way You lie- Eminem ft Rihanna

Time and Place I would set it in: Modern day Western World

Plot summary:

The story tells the complicated and often misunderstood relationship of the abuser and the abused in domestic violence cases. It talks about how both parties are aware of the toxic nature of their relationship but are still unable to leave. On some level they both know that their relationship is incredibly dangerous, but they love the drama and the intensity too much to walk away. The abuser claims that he hates what he does but that he is so dependent on their relationship that he cannot leave it and when he gets mad at her, the intensity of his rage clouds his judgment so much that it turns him into someone he cannot recognize. He claims that he will change and that he will never hurt the abused again, but both of them realize that it's all a lie and that he won't change. In the third verse the abuser goes through a state of denial with the abused by saying that its possible their relationship really isn't so bad, and that maybe its so intense because of their intense personalities but at the end of everything he admits that he knows that he is lying and that if she ever tries to escape from him he will kill her. Throughout the song the abused supports his statements by repeating that it’s alright if he watches her suffer because she loves the way he lies.

Character Summary:

To me, the abuser seems like someone who truly seems to have two widely different personalities: a public and a private one. I imagine that his public personality makes him seem like a normal guy. He'd probably be very charismatic and even personable. He'd seem very put together and self aware with a clear goal and ambition in life and all of these amazing qualities would make him very appealing to women. He'd probably be a charmer and romance them into his life, lulling them into a false sense of security. Then once they feel like they have found the perfect man, he would slowly start to change. I don't think he would brutally hurt them at first. I imagine he would probably start with by verbally assaulting them/ pushing them around, but before you know it would escalate until she's become too scared to run away.

Keywords to Describe Him

Public persona- charismatic, well dressed, put together, cheerful, friendly, kind and stable

Private persona- menacing, frigtening, domineering, unstable, overcome with rage, monsterous.

Key Elements to His Style

Checked Shirts

Classic Blue Jeans

Classic Mens button down shirt in neutrals and light blue

Tailored Suits worn with close collared shirts and ties

Italian style leather shoes

Quality timeless watch

Large but simple silver ring

Inconspicuous piercings that can be hidden under most clothes.

The Abuser to me:

Note: The pictures below are not of people who I think could be abusers. I do not intend to offend anyone. The sole purpose of the pictures is to give you an idea of the contrast between the abusers two personalities. It is to show that the abuser may seem normal and even successful, enviable and charming to most people but that this persona is shed behind closed doors and this is symbolically shown through the unbuttoning of the shirt and the shedding of the jacket, tie and belt to reveal his once hidden piercings and formerly contained muscles that are now emphasized with the aid of the neutral vest.

Love you all and Stay inspired,

P.S. So let me know what you think. How do you think the abuser should have been portrayed in the music video of Love the Way You Lie ? Have you watched the video? What do you think about it? Feel free to let me know in the comments below.

Photos from: We Heart it

Dearest Devotees,

Your words

Can break me

Or

Save me…

Which will it be?

Love you all and Stay inspired,

P.S. I'm sorry sweethearts I have been AWOL this week. All my major final projects and final performances are happening all through next week so I've been ridiculously busy. Please keep me in your prayers and/or hearts. I'll continue to blog despite it all (take that, crazy art classes) but will blog more frequently by the end of next week. Have a fabulous week.

Photos from: We Heart it

Dearest Devotees,

Dearest Devotees,

When you speak

you unlock something

inside

of

me.

Love you all and Stay inspired,

In Faith and Hope the world will disagree, But all mankind's concern is charity.

Author: Alexander PopeSource: Essay on Man (ep. III, l. 307)

The devastation in Haiti is absolutely heartbreaking. These people truly need our help. Give whatever you can to them, and trust that it will be deeply appreciated. There are so many different organisations you can give the money to and if we all give a little it will be enough. Please keep Haiti in your hearts and in your prayers.

Love you all and Stay inspired,

P.S. Here is a list of some organisations that are helping Haiti.

If you haven't already, you can read the prequels to this post, Music Therapy part 1 and 2 here.

• It's like that-Mariah Carey: When I listen to this song I remember the first time 'we' met ('we' in reference to the guy and I). It reminds me of the excitement, the interest, the chemical attraction, the frisson from across the room and the sense that you've just met someone with the ability to impact your life in a big way. I'm usually pretty upset at this part but it helps me acknowledge the reality of the situation.


• We belong together- same singer: By this point I just let myself feel the pain and allow the grieving to take place.
  
• Shake it off- same singer: This song shows me that I need to get back on my feet and move on with life.


• Because of you-Kelly Clarkson: This is when I'm just blaming him for the demise of the relationship. It's a lot of anger, but mostly hurt.


• Behind these Hazel Eyes-Kelly Clarkson : This is when I sort of fantasize the relationship, making it out to be perfect when it wasn't. Here I ask myself how I'll be able to live without him. I feel only hurt here.


• Since you been gone-Kelly Clarkson:This is all about how much better I feel now that I'm without him. It's all anger but it also signals that I'm beginning to move on.


• Breakaway-Kelly Clarkson:This is when I start to picture myself as ready to move on, by letting go of all the bad feelings.
  
• Walk away-Kelly Clarkson : This song symbolises complete freedom of the relationship, and total independence. It's when I feel like I no longer need to stalk his facebook page, or follow his twitter, or hang on to any of the threads of the relationship. Total liberation!

Now, I'm not saying that by simply going through this soundtrack I become magically healed. After all, these things do take time. It's like I said before, I see it as a form of therapy and one that isn't going to break my bank or tip my scales anytime soon.

(Photo from: bored-now)

Love you all and Stay inspired,

I know it's been awhile since I've posted an L&R post but that's because I have just not been moved to do so. After all, this is a personal blog and it reflects me and my experiences no matter how indirectly they are linked sometimes. Basically, I'm single again and working on getting myself back on track while trying to maintain and improve the relationships I've developed with my lovely friends in Boston. It's partially because of good experiences with these friends and because of the song of the week: Collide by Howie Day (see: Seeking Inspiration: Collide ), that I now feel ready to explore this topic.

Like I mentioned before, Collide is essentially about two people with different personalities, realising that it is their differences that make them so good for each other, and this led me to think about the concepts of destiny and fate. I mean they are such popular concepts used in all sorts of media to idealise love, both romantic and otherwise. From magazine articles to popular romantic comedies, people are shown as constantly looking for 'The One', i.e. the person that each person is supposed to spend their life. Sometimes they get so immersed in this search they forgot that their life is actually taking place while they search and is not on hold. They forget that even if there is a special person that they are destined to be with, and they do find this person (and I hope everyone does), you can't depend solely on this person to make you happy.

I believe that you have to take responsibility of your own happiness and this can partly be done by ensuring you also find true friends that will stick with you through the good times and the bad. I mean I am definitely yet to meet my 'One' but I'm pretty sure I've met quite a few people that represent these true friends for me. In fact, there have been times when, at first glance I meet someone, and we seem total opposites, but as I get to know the person I soon realise that we have more things in common than we don't. I like to call these people my 'kindred spirits' because if and when they become your really close friends, they tend to understand you in a way that few others can and knowing that such people exist can give you a sense of belonging and support that you will always need whether you are in a romantic relationship or not.

So I guess what I'm trying to say is that, its really good to believe that you were destined to be someone special but I'm pretty sure you will love life more if you strive to grow in your friendships and work on your hobbies while growing in your romantic relationships.

Love you all and Stay inspired,




P.S. So let me know what you think. Do you believe in love at first sight? Destiny? Have you ever met a kindred spirit? How did you meet? Have you met the one? How did you know? Feel free to let me know in the comments below.
(Photo from: Shanissinha)