Tuesday, 29 December 2009

Love and Relationships- Music Therapy part 3- Working through a break-up

If you haven't already, you can read the prequels to this post, Music Therapy part 1 and 2 here.



Music has always been a big part of my life. From the little girl that used to sing Pocahontas songs in front of her dad's friends ( I've seen pictures!!!) to the young adult that now writes songs and records music, I've always seen it as a way to express myself. The lyrics, the voices, the instruments, everything just connects with me deeply. This is why, when I go through a break-up, I try to ease the pain and speed up the healing process by listening to a certain soundtrack that I've compiled as my 'break-up soundtrack'. I've been using these songs for a couple of years now and I can honestly say they help me put everything into perspective.


The track has two parts: the first is made up of all Mariah Carey songs and is sort of a quick summary of the whole process; the second is made up of Kelly Clarkson songs and lets me go through process at a slower rate. By the second part, I've usually pulled myself together. The songs are:
  • It's like that-Mariah Carey: When I listen to this song I remember the first time 'we' met ('we' in reference to the guy and I). It reminds me of the excitement, the interest, the chemical attraction, the frisson from across the room and the sense that you've just met someone with the ability to impact your life in a big way. I'm usually pretty upset at this part but it helps me acknowledge the reality of the situation.

  • We belong together- same singer: By this point I just let myself feel the pain and allow the grieving to take place.
  • Shake it off- same singer: This song shows me that I need to get back on my feet and move on with life.

  • Because of you-Kelly Clarkson: This is when I'm just blaming him for the demise of the relationship. It's a lot of anger, but mostly hurt.

  • Behind these Hazel Eyes-Kelly Clarkson : This is when I sort of fantasize the relationship, making it out to be perfect when it wasn't. Here I ask myself how I'll be able to live without him. I feel only hurt here.

  • Since you been gone-Kelly Clarkson:This is all about how much better I feel now that I'm without him. It's all anger but it also signals that I'm beginning to move on.

  • Breakaway-Kelly Clarkson:This is when I start to picture myself as ready to move on, by letting go of all the bad feelings.
  • Walk away-Kelly Clarkson : This song symbolises complete freedom of the relationship, and total independence. It's when I feel like I no longer need to stalk his facebook page, or follow his twitter, or hang on to any of the threads of the relationship. Total liberation!

Now, I'm not saying that by simply going through this soundtrack I become magically healed. After all, these things do take time. It's like I said before, I see it as a form of therapy and one that isn't going to break my bank or tip my scales anytime soon.

(Photo from: bored-now)

Love you all and Stay inspired,


P.S. So let me know what you think. What's your favorite form of therapy? How do you get through a breakup? What songs would be on your 'break-up soundtrack'? Feel free to let me know in the comments below.
Monday, 28 December 2009

Seeking Inspiration: Get up and Go




Dearest Devotees,


It's over - or at least it will soon be - and thankfully, I'm not alone in believing that this year has gone by too quickly. That is not to say I won't be glad to see it leave. Life is all about moving forward, after all, and although I have learnt a lot this year from my experiences, I'm glad to have a clean slate. That's why my song of the week is Go sung by Boys Like Girls. It's all about turning a new leaf and learning from your past. It has even inspired me to make a list of all the lessons life taught me this year, and to acknowledge them so that I can be grateful for them and not make any of the same mistakes again. So without further ado, here's my list:


  • Never settle for anything less than what I deserve: I mean I've already got high standards for myself. If I get anything below a B+ in subjects I'm generally not good in like the sciences, and anything less than an A in subjects I am good in like literature, and other arty subjects, I practically berate myself. But, when it comes to guys, for whatever reason, I allow my standards to fall. I dated someone that I knew wasn't who I should be with, and stayed with them just because it was comfortable. You know it's bad when someone who doesn't even know your boyfriend tells you (through the aid of tarrot cards, no less), that you need to raise your standards where men are concerned. Needless to say it ended badly (reminiscent of stalker-ex boyfriend movies) and I can now honestly say I've never appreciated being single so much before. It was very scary but at least I've learnt from this experience.

  • Give myself a break: I really am my own harshest critic and after having several people (including one of my oldest friends and several of my academic advisors when I told them how I wanted to complete 2 degrees and a minor in 3 years) tell me that I really do push myself too hard, I decided that its ok to give myself a break every once in awhile. Also, that I should learn to adapt my personal standards to every different situation.

  • Become more accepting of myself: To some this may sound like the last point but its really not. You see, after having breathing difficulties and being disagnosed with asthma, I was told that I show a lot of the symptoms associated with adult ADHD (attention deficit/hyperactivity disorder). ADHD occurs because a difference in the chemicals and the positioning of neurons and neurochemicals in the brain.

Common symptoms include: carelessness and lack of attention to detail,
continually starting new tasks before finishing old ones,poor organisational skills, inability to focus, or prioritise, lateness to activities, continually losing, or misplacing, things,forgetfulness, inability to complete tasks or stick with tasks, and sometimes depression as a result of the condition. Its not a disease but a developmental disorder and apparently I've probably had it since I was a little kid, but was diagnosed since in girls its usually shows in their quiet and dreamy demeanor instead of the more disruptive forms. I'm getting officially tested soon but either way, I've decided I'm just going to learn to work with it and be more accepting of things that I just can't do.



  • Do more of the things I like and not what I think I should do: I almost became a double major in journalism just because I thought it would look good. I was so convinced that it was the right thing to do, that it took me several days of career testing and interest evaluating for me to realise that I want to be my own boss and I just can't do that in traditional print journalism. I still love media literacy and writing though, so I'm a film studies minor instead of an journalism double major.

So goodbye 2009. Thanks for the memories.


But before I end this unusually long post (I'm sorry. I got a little carried away), here are some of the links that inspired me this week:



  • Get up and Go...to the café: Ah, the café. The stereotypical artist haven, where those seeking inspiration go to observe life in a cosy, warm and friendly environment. This article by Café Fashionista has moved me to rediscover the magic of my neighbourhood café.


  • Maybe its just me, but I think using Kool-aid as clothing dye is pretty fascinating. This is one of the DIY projects I want to try out as soon as possible.


  • Need somewhere cute to keep your supplies? The monkeybasket blog has just the thing.

(Photos from: Teerish on flickr and Stuckincustoms)

This place reminds me of Northern Ireland , my favorite place in the world.

Love you all and Stay inspired,


P.S. So let me know what you think. Did the year go by too fast? What did you learn from your past experiences this year? Did you learn anything new about yourself this year and if so, what? Feel free to let me know in the comments below.

Saturday, 26 December 2009

How to Budget Shop: Sales, Thrift stores and Shopping Your Closet


This is part 3 of the Budget Shopping series. If you haven't already, please check out part 1- How to Budget Shop: The Rules, and part 2- How to Budget Shop: Investment Pieces, Basics and Classics.

A major part of budget shopping is knowing how to make use of your limited resources and stretching these resources as far as they can go. This is why knowing how to make the most of sales, thrift stores and your personal closet is so important. The better you utilise these low cost places the less money you will spend on trying to achieve that 'whole new look' every morning.






Sales: Black Friday, Cyber Monday, and all the sales we know and love:
Everyone loves a good sale so I'm not about to tell you not to indulge. I mean what's not to love?Its the perfect opportunity for a little retail therapy without the accompanying debt. However, if you don't keep the following things in mind you may end up with a more chaotic wardrobe situation than you bargained for.




  • Always ask yourself how much of the trend factor does the item have- truth is, if its on sale the trend really is on it's way out anyway. However, if it is currently a trend, is on sale, but suits you and flows with your personal style buy it anyway because its a deal.



  • Remember the cost-per-wear (or use): If it's on sale because its already defunct, really low quality or won't last as long as you'd like please pass it over. Because, even if it cost $1 and you only wore it once, instead of buying the $7 sister, you would have worn at least 14 times, it still wasn't worth the $1 you paid for it.(Do the math)



  • Don't leave the list at home: It'll stop you from buying things you just don't need, in the heat of the moment.


  • This is perfect time to buy your classics and basics, investment pieces will have an even greater cost-per-wear than they have usually.



  • Don't rush to the cashier: Please try it on when possible, and if you can't try to visualise yourself wearing it. How do you look? Does it flow with the rest of your wardrobe? If not, its a no.


Thrift stores, vintage shops and other discount stores:



From Ebay, Amazon and Etsy to your local thrift store, discount stores are the not-so-secret gold mines of many a budget fashionista. Whenever I walk into (or end up on) one, I feel like a child let loose in a candy store, on a mission to discover the next precious treasure to add to my wardrobe. A few tips to improve your next shopping trip include:




  • When shopping online look for sellers with a good reputation and a good return policy.



  • Look for quality material first before anything else: if the material is still good it can be fitted to your size or used in a DIY project.



  • Be resilient: It took me a couple of days of rummaging through several flea markets and vintage shops to find the brooch of my dreams.



  • Classics (not really basics though) and unusual accessories that reflect your style are things you should keep an eye out for when shopping in these stores.


Shopping your closet:
For a lot of people the idea of 'shopping your closet' became real when the recession hit. 'Shopping your closet' is when you arrange your closet in such a way that it becomes very clear to know what you have and what is available to you, so that coming up with an outfit becomes a whole lot easier. Also, when your wardrobe mimics the clarity of your favorite store, it is easier to identify the gaps in it, which will enable you to know what to buy the next time you shop.





  • Hangs ties, scarves and belts so you can easily get to and see them.



  • Hang long necklaces and earrings on jewelry trees if you can.



  • You can pin smaller earrings on a board or something similar.



  • Keep rings in a little partitioned drawer if you can.



  • Hang as many clothes as you can.



  • Get rid of any and everything you haven't worn in at least a year.



  • Keep similar items together.


  • Store away things you will not use for awhile e.g. winter clothes in summer.



On the next part of this series I will talk about making the ultimate shopping list, budgetting and the financial nitty-gritty in budget shopping. If you liked this post and what to follow the series, follow this blog either by email or using one of the RSS feed links in the sidebars.






Love you all and Stay inspired,







P.S. So let me know what you think. Do you shop your closet? What are your favorite budget shopping venues? What's the best thing you've ever got on sale? Feel free to let me know in the comments below.

(Photos from: drinksmachine and zach_machester)
Thursday, 24 December 2009

A Day in the Life: Merry Christmas!!!!

Dearest Devotees,

This is just to wish you a Merry Christmas my darlings! Thank you so much for following my blog and I hope that you have a fabulous day. I'll be back with a regular post tomorrow, ciao!
XOXO
Aury

Love and Relationships: Destiny, the One and Kindred spirits



I know it's been awhile since I've posted an L&R post but that's because I have just not been moved to do so. After all, this is a personal blog and it reflects me and my experiences no matter how indirectly they are linked sometimes. Basically, I'm single again and working on getting myself back on track while trying to maintain and improve the relationships I've developed with my lovely friends in Boston. It's partially because of good experiences with these friends and because of the song of the week: Collide by Howie Day (see: Seeking Inspiration: Collide ), that I now feel ready to explore this topic.

Like I mentioned before, Collide is essentially about two people with different personalities, realising that it is their differences that make them so good for each other, and this led me to think about the concepts of destiny and fate. I mean they are such popular concepts used in all sorts of media to idealise love, both romantic and otherwise. From magazine articles to popular romantic comedies, people are shown as constantly looking for 'The One', i.e. the person that each person is supposed to spend their life. Sometimes they get so immersed in this search they forgot that their life is actually taking place while they search and is not on hold. They forget that even if there is a special person that they are destined to be with, and they do find this person (and I hope everyone does), you can't depend solely on this person to make you happy.

I believe that you have to take responsibility of your own happiness and this can partly be done by ensuring you also find true friends that will stick with you through the good times and the bad. I mean I am definitely yet to meet my 'One' but I'm pretty sure I've met quite a few people that represent these true friends for me. In fact, there have been times when, at first glance I meet someone, and we seem total opposites, but as I get to know the person I soon realise that we have more things in common than we don't. I like to call these people my 'kindred spirits' because if and when they become your really close friends, they tend to understand you in a way that few others can and knowing that such people exist can give you a sense of belonging and support that you will always need whether you are in a romantic relationship or not.

So I guess what I'm trying to say is that, its really good to believe that you were destined to be someone special but I'm pretty sure you will love life more if you strive to grow in your friendships and work on your hobbies while growing in your romantic relationships.

Love you all and Stay inspired,




P.S. So let me know what you think
. Do you believe in love at first sight? Destiny? Have you ever met a kindred spirit? How did you meet? Have you met the one? How did you know? Feel free to let me know in the comments below.
(Photo from: Shanissinha)
Friday, 18 December 2009

Seeking Inspiration: Collide

Picture from: Ashley Rose
Dearest Devotees,
Wow, what a week! After my finals on Thursday and Friday, shopping on Saturday I was totally snowed in and barely left my friend's dorm on Sunday. On Monday, I had to do some crazy last minute packing and finally began my journey back to Switzerland at 4pm. After many hours of delay and layover time, I got back home a couple of hours ago and I can honestly say I'm glad to be free of school work for the holidays. But I digress.
A couple of days ago, I stumbled upon a song by Howie Day called Collide and ever since then I've been obsessed with situations in which two wildly different people, art forms, skills and so on can collide to make something beautiful. You see, the song is about how, when two totally different people meet and fall in love there is originally some doubt in their minds about how their relationship could possibly work , but then they soon realise that somehow their differences work out to make them perfect for each other. It's like that moment that you realise your av Avante-Garde fashion choices, or unusual colour palettes in a painting, or your rock lyrics with a soft melody have actually found a way to work. It just goes to show that just because a particular decision is unusual or novel does it mean its doomed to fail.
In fact, I think the willingness to take that chance and try out something-whether its collaborating on a song or visual art work with an artist in a different genre than you, or just deciding to wear your black rocker chic jacket with your super girly gypsy skirt- is a sign of a truly creative person. The best thing about taking th
is risk though is that, even if the combination doesn't come out well you will definitely emerge from the experience with more knowledge, wisdom, and maybe even inspiration for something else.

To get you started here are some links to works I think collided beautifully:

Denis Collette has an absolutely lovely photostream on flickr that includes the picture below and many
more:
I just discovered this cute blog that introduces itself as Apifera Farm: where animals, art and lavender collide

=simoendli on Deviant Art seriously has some of the most beautiful shots I have ever seen, the colours mix in such a surreal way making them seem like something from another land.

Holly Appling is a blog on poetry and all I needed was to see the poem I have linked and I knew I'd found a new source of constant inspiration!

Love you
all and Stay inspired,




P.S. So let me know what you think. Do you believe that a collaboration or combination has to have some clear link thatr brings them together for it to work? Have you ever taken a chance by working outside the fabled 'box'? How did it turn out? Feel free to let me know in the comments below.
(Photos from flickr.com)
Tuesday, 15 December 2009

Life's Little Lessons: Plan for the New Year before New Year's


Dearest Devotees,


So every year, I get totally caught up (always a little late) in the loveable chaos that is the Christmas season and in the midst of preparing and enjoying Christmas and the days after I soon forget that the next holiday signifies the start of a new year in my life. I mean I know its New Year's Day but somehow I forget its significance and therefore forget to prepare myself appropriately by making my New Year's resolution ahead of time. What usually happens then is that on New Year's Day, just after midnight I realise this and think up something to do quickly, something that is usually completely forgotten by mid-February. But now I say ``Never again!" . As of this minute, I am proud to say I have made my New Year's resolution (or resolutions) and even begun to plan and prepare for it. And I encourage you to do the same. I honestly believe that if you put a lot of thought and preparation into your New Year's resolution that it you will be able to actually stick to it (or at least come close to doing so.)

Here are my resolutions:

  • Make a demo of 10 of my songs complete with accompanying music and song sheets.


  • Make at least 2 music videos for my songs and 3 for other songs that I love.


  • Be able to carry out a 5 minute conversation in French


  • Blog at least twice a week every week without fail


  • Gather all my poems written to date and work towards an anthology


  • Finish one of my novels in pre-edited format


  • Choreograph 2 dances.


  • Significantly improve my fashion design skills


  • Grow in hope and love of life


  • Become more organised


  • Perform in front of strangers


And here are the preparations I've undergone:



  • I've signed up for voice and piano classes for next semester, to fine tune my abilities.


  • I just got my first video camera today! Expect me on youtube soon people lol. I have a tripod I just got and also plan on getting a Mac soon for the editing program.


  • Got my french books, signing up for conversational classes; don't worry I am Not new to this language.


  • I'm practicing by blogging during my finals week! 'nuff said.


  • Have the story web all planned already, and introduction has been done too.


  • I have been engaging in random and spontaneous dancing almost everyday this past week.


  • I have got some drawing and sketchbooks, and I have costuming classes next semester.


  • I am Christian and am doing this by becoming stronger in my faith.


  • I'm learning to use Excel to make a schedule that I will put on Evernote and take everywhere with me.


  • My roommate and I have already made plans to check out this bar/café that the Berklee students play at.


How am I going to do all this? By intense planning, scheduling and use of deadlines, but most of all determination. If you are really determined you can get anywhere in life. And this is the core of this lesson.

(Picture from: bubblewrap)

Love you all and Stay inspired,





P.S. So let me know what you think. Have you picked a New Year's Resoloution yet? What is it? How did your last one work out? Feel free to let me know in the comments below.

Sunday, 13 December 2009

How to Budget Shop: Investment pieces, Basics and Classes



Now that I can finally get round to following up on the previous post in this series How to Budget: The Rules, I hope that I can completely cover all the bases on the mastery of budget shopping. As I said in the previous post in the series, when budget shopping you should be willing to spend the most money on the 'investment pieces' of your wardrobe. In case you were wondering, an investment piece is any piece that forms the basic foundation of your wardrobe and that you can mix-n-match with several other pieces in your wardrobe in order to make an outfit. While these pieces should still have a bit of your personal style in them and should fit you, this should be generally be toned down as much as possible so that it does not compromise their versatility. I believe that there are two major categories of investment pieces: basics and classics.

Basics
These are articles that every woman cannot and should not go without regardless of age, lifestyle, and personal style. They form the basic support of your outfits, and the skeleton of your wardrobe. Although, people's ideas of what constitute the basics varies, there are a few things that are constant from list to list they are:
  • a winter hat, scarf and gloves, and coat (climate sensitive)


  • a good strong umbrella and rainboots (partially climate sensitive)


  • comfy, but cute flats and flip flops


  • gorgeous yet workable heels in a neutral colour


  • blazer/hoodie/ cute light jacket and sweater in a neutral colour


  • bras of 3 types: push-up, sports and t-shirt


  • seamless underwear


  • simple tanks in neutral colours


  • simple t-shirts in neutral colours (short and long sleeve)


  • jeans preferably in a dark wash and a pair of normal pants


  • sneakers, socks and neutral toned pants


  • a simple but durable bag and wallet

Classics:
These are clothes that have survived the test of time and therefore have incredibly low cost-per-wear because you will be able to use them for as long as they survive. They are seen as important pieces to achieve the simple but polished look and usually have infinite possibilities in terms of when and where you can wear them. They also do not have to be bought in a haste and can be acquired as you become more financially stable. They include:

  • A little black dress


  • A white 'mens' shirt


  • bootcut or straight legged jeans


  • a gold or silver jewelry set


  • pearls and or diamonds


  • black tailored pants


  • a trench coat


  • black pumps


  • a flattering skirt of medium length


  • a cashmere sweater


  • your perfect bag


  • a pair of black sunglasses

Please Note: When buying your investment pieces remember the following:

  • They must suit your body type and represent you without being trendy.


  • You must love it. If you are going to invest in something, it being just 'alright' is not going to cut it.


  • If you have to choose, make sure you spend money on your basics before you invest in your classics simply because they are more capital intensive initially and less urgent. But that depends on you.

(Picture from: Anahitox at Flickr)

Love you all and Stay inspired,








P.S. So let me know what you think. What are your investment pieces? Do you own any classics yet? Which is your favorite? Feel free to let me know in the comments below.

Saturday, 12 December 2009

Seeking Inspiration: Using the past to inspire the present

(Picture From: Pauline Price at flickr)

Dearest Devotees,

So this week I've been very into the use of history and even things of the recent past to inspire the present. Over the past few weeks, my roommate and I have been declaring certain songs as our songs of the week and we would play each song over and over, find all its various music videos, remixes and versions, and generally dissect it and analyse it completely. And since music is so important to me, I feel like this is something I should share with you too. So after reading this post please check out the song of the week Hear You Me performed by Jimmy Eat World. It's basically about two friends of theirs, when they were just starting out, that would always go to different towns they were performing in, where they knew no one, and give them somewhere to stay. They were a major support system for them and Weezer in the beginning who were unfortunately killed in a car crash on their way back from a concert. These two women, Mykel and Carli Allen, always said the words 'hear you me' . I believe this song is a great example of how we can draw inspiration from our past experiences, good and bad. Here are some other pieces of inspiration that I feel draw on the past:






(Picture from: I am Blessed on imgfave)



This picture feels like a window into a forgotten time. It has true Victorian beauty.


In case you're looking for a fashion history lesson College Fashion has an article I love.



It doesn't have to be Halloween for you to dress like the 50s or any of the eras according to Charade.


Buildings and places all tell stories too. If you can't go where you want to go pictures and information can usually take you there.


Love you all and Stay inspired,






P.S. So let me know what you think. What are places that inspire you ? Where would you go if you had the chance to just for the experience? Do you have pictures and if you do feel free to send them in. Also, feel free to let me know in the comments below.
Friday, 11 December 2009

How to Remain Gorgeous In Winter: Beauty


For a lot of people winter weather is not a friend to your body. What with all the sharp, dry and icy winds, freezing spontaneous showers and rock-bottom temperatures it is no wonder that people tend to be a lot more susceptible to less-than-stellar appearances. And with the holidays coming up and finals drawing ever closer, we are a lot less willing to care about our looks or make the effort. So here are a few tips to help you weather the harsh winter weather:

  1. Hydrate yourself: I don't know about you but facing the blustery winter winds always leaves me feeling super dehydrated. This is why it is more important than usual, to drink your minimum of eight cups a day. It will really show on the inside and out.


  2. Moisturize your hair and body: If you can, using a thicker, more petroleum-based moisturiser (like Vaseline) not only keeps your skin looking healthy but also protects you from the cold.


  3. Use jelly-based lip balm: The lighter, oilier ones just don't cut it in the winter. They evaporate too quickly and soon leave your lips looking cracked and wind worn.


  4. Use cream-based or mineral make-up: Since your face is the part of your body that is constantly exposed to all the various elements, the skin there is weaker and more susceptible to damage. Since it suffers more abuse in the winter it is best to use less chemicals on it during these months.


  5. Use waterproof mascara: If you, like me, tend to have teary eyes when its really cold and windy, but still want to glam up your eyes, using waterproof mascara is probably the way to go. The racoon look is not good on anyone. Trust me.

Love you all and Stay inspired,



P.S. So let me know what you think. What are your winter beauty secrets? Does your routine change with the season? Feel free to let me know in the comments below.

Tuesday, 1 December 2009

Life's a Debate: What's the rush? Married couples in middle school


I just came off of this Seventeen magazine forum where a 17-year old girl was asking people what they thought about her recent engagement to be married. She wanted to know if they thought that she was too young and if they were married or engaged. She got a LOT of replies. Most of which said that she wasn't too young as long as she is in love, and that 17 is fine to get married. Going through the responses, I found at that quite a few of these responses came from girls aged 14-18 that were either engaged, married or considering it.

This has got to be the single most shocking thing I've seen this week, and that includes the whole Tiger Woods/possible mistress situation.

I mean have I really been away from the United States for so long? Because, when I left 8 years ago I really don't think I had any friends that had older siblings in high school that were engaged or married. Then again, maybe I was just oblivious to this now entirely too interesting trend. I In my junior high and high school equivalent, marriage was definitely not an issue, for me or any of my school mates at least while in the secondary school (grades 7-12), and usually for a couple of years after that as well. Even now, I personally can not imagine, at the age of 18, getting ready for my own wedding. And even in the year I spent at my old university, I really didn't know anyone with serious wedding plans, and most of the people I knew were at least in their 20s.


I don't see what the rush is about? I can't speak for anyone but myself but even though I was very happily in a relationship for almost a year, the thought of getting married then was not even in my mind. And no, it was not because I am entirely unromantic and just want to be alone forever. My reasons were and still are:

1. I don't want to do anything as important and wonderful as marriage halfway. When I do get married I want to be in it for the long haul and be willing and able to devote myself to making it work.



2. I am still learning new things about myself and trying to understand myself right now. If I don't know and understand myself, how can I help someone to understand me?

3. I have a lot of goals and ambitions that require a lot of commitment and like I said in #1, I don't like to do things halfway. Right now, I have things I want to experience, places I want to go, and goals I want to achieve and now is the time to be able to put my all into them without distraction so that later I will have no regrets. When I am ready for a family and marriage, my husband and family will get my undivided attention and will always come first for me.


I just feel that if you love someone, as in really love someone there is no need to rush into marriage, especially if you are not really sure about who you are yet and what you want out of life. True love never dies and if you are sure the person you want to marry is the one for you, the person will still be the one for you in a couple of years when you are both more independent, stronger and more self aware.

Once again, I can only speak for myself. I really want to know more about the other point of view and people's reasons for getting married in their teens and early 20s (21, 22).


Love you all and Stay inspired,





P.S. So let me know what you think? Would you get married in your teens? Are you married or engaged? How do you do everyday life as a young married couple (especially if you're 15 or 16). And what ever happened to promise rings? Feel free to let me know in the comments below.
Tuesday, 13 October 2009

My Quest For Pretty: The Hoodie


Inspired by my Life's A Debate Post on Does This Come in Pretty, I have decided to embark on a mission to find the prettier versions of all life's essentials (and not-so-essentials). However since we do not all have access to the same stores and stuff and since we all have different tastes, I am just gonna give you a low down of what I think is lovely. Feel free to give me your own thoughts and opinions too.




My Top 5 Favorite types of super pretty hoodies :
  1. Plaid and tartan prints: Ever since I saw my current favorite hoodie at the store I knew it was the one. A good plaid print (especially if its black on a white background) has the ability to transform a simple hoodie into something unique, classy and potentially whimsical in style. This style is very big right now so you are likely to find the perfect one for your personality.
  2. Polka dots: I LOVE polka dots! Big or small, multicoloured or single toned, they are just the thing to add that extra punch of fun to any outfit. And although I believe in mixing prints, I have to admit this is something one should be careful with. (More on mixing prints successfully soon to come.)
  3. Asymetrical and funky cuts: This is a more avante-garde way of getting a lovely hoodie. Granted it might be harder to find, but you can be rest assured that when you do find one with unusual sleeves, a longer cut, or achitectural shape, that you will stand out and in a good way.
  4. Bright, bright colours: With the fast approach of winter and the abundance of rainy, dull and overcast days, there is no better way that I can think of to radiate your inner sunshine than by wearing a brightly coloured hoodie. I favour colours like aqua blue, rose violet, and other jewel tones for the fall, but yellow, orange and other warm colours work well too.

  5. Unusual materials: You can break away from the traditionally cotton hoodies and try out something a little more unique. For example some people like to reuse knitwear and turn it into other clothes, and you could try using old sweaters to make a 'new' hoodie, that will truly be one of a kind. If DIY isnt for you though, Etsy is a always a safe bet to find that funky piece that will make your wardrobe.


(Picture from: Mark My Name on flickr.com )

Love you all and Stay inspired,





P.S. So let me know what you think. What are your favorite trends in hoodies right now? What is your personal style? And what stores do you think have gorgeous hoodies right now? Feel free to let me know in the comments below.

Monday, 12 October 2009

Life's Little Lessons No. 1: Actions Speak Louder Than Words

Dearest Devotees,

Now, I realise that I am but a child in the big courtyard of life, but I strongly believe that anyone, absolutely anyone, can teach you something new, or reveal something to you in a totally different light. I, for one continue to learn new things every day and sometimes in extremely odd and unexpected places too. And who better to share these little insights with than you, my devotees? So it is with this in mind that I introduce my Life's little lessons piece, in the hope that you too may join me in this path of discovery and learn a little more along the way.


After going through another situation in which I (incorrectly) analysed a guy's words without taking his actions into serious account, and being hurt by the outcome, I feel that it is about time that I incorporated the saying that 'actions speak louder than words', into my life. I mean, people can (and often do) say things without meaning them, and we, the receivers of these untruths choose to believe them simply because we want to, even when the person's actions do not reflect what they have told you. In fact, some of us, men and women alike, try to make it seem that these contradictory actions are in fact the exact sort of behaviours one should expect in these situations. This was brought home to me in a big way when a day after the aforementioned guy situation, I rewatched the movie He's just not that into you with a friend of mine. I felt like Gigi and was completely enlightened when Alex gave this piece of world shifting advice : If a guy acts like he doesn't give a shit about you, he sincerely doesn't give a shit.


The fact that Alex was very much a cynic when he told her this (who later became a romantic when he fell in love with Gigi) does not take away from the truth in this statement. Most people in this world are not good actors and can not go for long periods of time pretending they feel a certain way when they don't. If an acquaintance of yours, claims to be your friend and tends to not mysteriously unavailable whenever you need them, don't try to make excuses for the person. If a boyfriend or girlfriend proclaims their undying love for you but frequently tears you down, or has 'wandering eyes', do not think that it is simply a phase they are passing through. If you really care about the person confront them head on, otherwise you would do well to distance yourself them. Harsh as it may seem sometimes, we would all be better off in in long run if we could accept that words only mean something when they are tied to actions. Look at it this way, if you truly love someone would you only say so, or would you try to show your love for them more each day?
(Picture from trbpix )

Love you all and Stay inspired,



P.S So tell me what you think. What are your experiences with this lesson? Is it something you have tried to incorporate into your life? If so, how do you remember it when you need to ?
Feel free to let me know in the comments below.
Monday, 5 October 2009

Trendlight: The Quilted Bag


Left over from the waves of bohemian chic that defined last season, the quilted bag, as a result of its versatility and transitionability, has not only lingered on the streets but grown to serious trend status over the past couple of months. And with the presence of traditionally bohemian and hippie trends like florals on the runways for this season, I have no doubt that it has the potential to be the new 'It' bag.Although the most dominant label associated with this trend is Vera Bradley, several similar bags have been found in major stores and small boutiques alike.

I absolutely love this trend, and not just because my style has a predominantly bohemian vibe too. I also love these bags because, they add an instant punch of colour and style to even the simplest of outfits. With the amazing print found on these quilted bags, even an otherwise plain outfit can look stellar. Another reason I love them is because they are so soft and easy to carry (see comfort and style). Finally, and most importantly I think, is that they can be found in a wide range of styles, prints and prices. There's just so much variety available, especially if you know where to look. As of now, I have a quilted backpack, tote and ID wallet (backpack from Staples and tote and ID from Barnes and Nobles). And in case you fall in love with this trend and want to decorate and equip your dorm/room/locker/desk with similar Vera Bradley stationery and luggage pieces , you can. However, if going all out there and investing in the larger pieces is not your thing, they have several smaller pieces such as cell phone purses, ID wallets and clutches available too. Either way you look at it, this is sure to recapture the essence of summer as winter nights draw nearer.





(Both pictures from Vera Bradley website).
Love you all and Stay inspired,


P.S. So let me know what you think. Is this a trend you would try/ have tried? Does it fit in with your style? And how would you rock it? Feel free to let me know in the comments below.
Sunday, 27 September 2009

Life's a Debate: "Does this come in Pretty?"

While traipsing round stores on our local high street in search of certain necessities for the average college girl in New England (read: rainboots and flannel sheets), I approached a not-so-unusual hurdle. You see, it has been about 6 months or so since I was first able to correctly identify my personal style, and was originally super pumped about finally having the opportunity to remake and recreate my wardrobe accordingly. But as I scoured the stores and malls for the perfect (insert college necessity here), I discovered that finding the quirky and unusual forms of my needs would not be easy in the least. Don't believe me? Well then, explain why it took me 8 hours of searching all over the city to find a normal duvet (not flannel) that I could make do with for the first couple of weeks? I mean, my personal style is primarily bohemian, it really shouldn't be that difficult to find bedding that appeals to me.

But it was.

And as days go bye, it gets harder and harder to cling on to this sense of self that I acquired when I identified my style. One day, after looking at the same selection of sports bras that I had seen in the six previous stores I moaned in frustration, 'Why doesn't this come in pretty?'.

Just because you'll only wear something to the gym doesn't mean that it can't look good. Where, I ask you, does it say that one must always sacrifice style for comfort? They aren't mutually exclusive. And I have proof too. I own some incredibly comfortable and cute white and silver trainers that have served me well and have not failed me yet(see above right). And like I mentioned once before, after hours of searching, I found this absolutely gorgeous plaid hoodie that I love to death. So I honestly believe that you can combine style and comfort. But, there must be some reason that so many people believe that you can't. I can't come up with any but I'm willing to learn, and open to all opinions. If you know them, please feel free to tell me.

Love you all and Stay inspired,




P.S So let me know what you think. Do you agree that style can be combined with comfort? Or do you believe the two can't or should never be combined? Feel free to let me know in the comments below.

Seeking Inspiration: Behind Your Eyes

Photo from: Nir Tober
Dearest Devotees,
So they say that the eyes are the gateway to the soul and that if one gazes into them , one may know secrets that the mouth cannot tell. Whether, this is true or not, is not certain. However, I can tell you that after having spent an inordinate amount of time over the past couple of weeks "gazing" into people's eyes ( I know, I know, it's rude to stare. What I go through for the sake of discovery...) , you can learn a lot about how person is truly feeling through them. If you don't believe me, simply take a look at the pictures below.

Pictures from: Zara Jay and Desiree Delgardo


And if you still don't believe me, there are plenty of songs out there, like Iris by the Goo Goo Dolls, that speak of the eyes in this magical light.

Finally, in my last seeking inspiration post I told you all about the Charade Blogiversary giveaway, in which Megan of Charade held a weeklong giveaway for her readers. She let everyone know all the prizes they could win each day, but kept the final prize a surprise to be revealed only by the winner. Well, I am very happy to say I was the lucky winner of her grand prize and now I have the pictures to show all who are dying to know what I won.













Love you all and Stay Inspired,

P.S. So let me know what you think. Do you believe that you can tell what someone is thinking or feeling by looking in to their eyes? Why or Why not? Feel Free to let me know in the comments below.

Friday, 18 September 2009

Love and Relationships: The Brainwash


I wrote this poem based on a song I wrote a long time ago. The song was about a male friend I had who was one of my best and closest friends. We were always there for each other and told each other everything. But, one day, over night it seemed, he began to distance himself from me

while trying to fit into the structured role of a "guy" our environment at the time. He became someone I didn't know and I didn't know how to deal with it. So I wrote a song called " Falling Apart" in order to express my feelings. I recently tapped into those feelings again when a new friend of mine asked me to sing the song for her, and was once again moved to write.





Here is the poem. Enjoy, but more importantly, feel.


The Brainwash

They came
And
They took you away from me.
A group called Society.
Made you into something I could never have foreseen.
And in one stealthy and lethal swipe
Brainwashed you and completely destroyed my dreams, our dreams.

They stole.
Everything that could have been,
Had Fate not signed that shady deed,
leaving us to Chance and Uncertainty
and all alone to fend for ourselves
in that dark and dreary world, a world of mystery.

You promised we'd stick together
and that nothing could break our bond.
But then Society came around
and they took you away from me.
They made you believe that what we had was wrong.
That the differences between you and me should somehow have made us see.
And that we should have known deep down all along,
that it just wasn't meant to be.
So you left.
And I wept.
But don't worry.
I can look back now and feel no tears down my cheeks.
I can finally find the words that I thought would never come to me.
I've made peace with what you did to me.
And
I sincerely hope that
Now
you are truly happy.


By: Aury
Love you all and Stay inspired,






P.S. So let me know what you think. Has a similar situation in which a close friend seems to completely change over night, leaving you wondering what went wrong? What did you do in the situation? And what do you think of the poem. Feel free to let me know in the comments below.
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"Come with me,
and See this World,
Through the eyes
of an Ordinary Girl"

An Ordinary Girl's World is a blog for stylish and artistic teens, college students and young adults, creatively finding their way in this world. Its about expressing yourself through your personal style, your lifestyle, your relationships and friendships.
This site will feature articles on fashion, love and life in general, with topics ranging from the latest trends in fashion, beauty and lifestyle, personal style, artistic inspiration pieces and real life survival guides.
Email address:
aury4eva@gmail.com


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About Me

Frannie
Hello! I am Frannie a.k.a Frances Anne and I am a 21 year old Catholic Missionary. I am Nigerian but have lived all over the world and I currently live and serve in the U.S. I love God, others and life in general. I bubble over with joy everyday and would love to share my joy with you.
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